PROJECT: SAM I AM, the lbgtq voice speaks up

Alex, 14, United States.

Reading through these stories, I’ve realized that maybe I’m not making it all up in my head. I know it’s an awful thing to be ashamed of yourself because of something you don’t have control over, but it happens. I’m not proud that I keep everything a secret, but I do. It’s not for my sake. It’s for my family and friends’ sake.

I’ve lived here, there, and everywhere. Small towns with no diversity. I’ve always been different than the kids in these towns, though. While most carelessly throw around derogatory names about anyone, really, not just the lgbtq+ community, I’m much more aware of what my vocabulary does. I’m very well aware of the fact that bullying can hurt someone and make them feel like there’s no way out.

Going back to the idea of me being different, I feel that I always have been. Most of my feelings are just starting to surface now, and nothing scares me more. I’m scared of my family hating me. I’ve never been good enough, no matter how hard I try, so why would this be any different? I’m scared of my friends leaving me. I only have one good one, and I know she’d never leave me, but it scares me to death.

I know I’m young, and I have all the time in the world to figure it out, but now that the pieces are quickly falling together, I want to stop it. I have no one to go to and no one to look up to. Even someone in the media would be helpful.

I’m not labeling myself as anything, because I’m completely clueless. But having a good, sweet, wholesome guy to look up to would help, I feel. Seeing as Quinn and Sam go to the same church, we can make the inference that Sam’s parents are religious. My parents are also religious, and while it’s not to the extent that Quinn’s parents are, it’s there. To see Sam struggle with his sexuality and to see his parents accept him would honestly give me more hope.

Sam’s friends have never been the greatest towards him, but maybe I’m just biased. While my friend has been lovely to me, I would still like to have reassurance that good friends last you a lifetime, no matter what you are.

Having someone to look up to means the world to me. While Kurt is one of my favorite characters, I can’t look up to him. He knows what he is, he’s proud of who he is, and while there was struggle, there was no on screen confusion. The same statement applies to Blaine. Dave and Santana take their feelings out on another people, and as much as I like both characters, I can’t say I look up to that, either. 

Sam is a good guy. He’s humble and admirable, and you can’t help but want to hug him. Seeing someone that’s not angry, but not ready to shout it out to the world, either, would be refreshing. There are few good role models in the media today, and if it has to be a fictional character that inspires people, so be it.

Sam Evans is just a normal guy that likes football and comic books, and I think most people can relate to his average guy factor. Dealing with his financial situation and still being so strong was already inspiring. I think that the writers could take Sam in an extraordinary direction, should they decide to follow up on this storyline, and I think they could inspire the people that do relate to Sam. The happy, normal, seemingly “normal” people of society, that aren’t just what meets the eye. I think society could too, they just need a little nudge in the right direction. Glee is a hugely popular TV show with a wide range of viewers, and if they could reach out and say something, then maybe, just maybe, society would be able to follow their example.

So, now my cursor waves over the submit button, my heart pounds, and my hands shake. I know you’ll all be supportive, though, and that’s what’s giving me the push to admit things I’ve never admitted out loud. And I thank you all for that safety. ♥

I’m Alex, and I’m part of the 57%.